Then the economy turned sour. He became so lazy, he hired someone else to ink his even-worse-than-before artwork. His fans stopped lavishing him with money. He became bitter. He began to make self-pitying rants about how he was turning 30 (poor baby).
Eventually even his enablist fans began to gradually notice the dreck he wrote wasn't worth wiping their asses with. They began to critique him. He threw a dramatic hissyfit and hired other people to illustrate his awful rape fantasies. Many of them quit. Yet, he fapped on.
Then, we came along.
NONE OF THIS ARTWORK IS OURS. WE DID NOT EVEN MAKE THE EDITS. WE HAVE ONLY SAVED THEM. ALL ARTWORK IS FROM GOOD OL DAVID HOPKINS. http://www.pholph.com
Oh look, an FAQ.
Oh look, a list of riffs.
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Does anyone else think Dave might have liked Yu-Gi-Oh! at some point, too?
Anonymous asked: Ya'know what's always about Kane? Why is he Envy? Wouldn't Pride make more sense for someone who wanted to be God &/or rule hell? And Pride is the sin from which all others grow right? So it'd make sense why he would instantly regarded as Lord King Of Big Shit Mountain. The only reasons I could figure is 1)If he was Pride, he'd be higher on the hell totem than Drip & we can't have that. 2)Hopkins thought: "Pride? That's basically vanity right? That's a lady thing & a lady can't be King of Hell."
Kane’s motivations do not smack at all of Envy.
Who, exactly, was he envious of? Furries? We have never seen evidence of this. Perhaps he was envious of God, or of the concept of immortality, but we have never had any dialogue or character development about this either. We know he worked at Miller Hill. We know he created a machine which resurrects the dead. Do we know why? No. Do we know anything about his personality before death? No. Do we know anything about his personality after death aside from “evil”? No. We know nothing about him, least of all what makes him qualified to be Envy.
Of all the Sins, we know the least about Kane, Sloth and Vanity. While Sloth and Vanity aren’t exactly central to the story, Kane is our primary villain. Shouldn’t we at least know the motivations of a primary villain? And Dave, “take over Hell” is not a strong enough motivation for this “epic battle” you seem to be gearing up for.
Why does Kane want to take over Hell? Was he unsatisfied with only his minions and domain? Would that not be more a sin of Greed or Gluttony than a sin of Envy?
Exactly what does he do that is indicative of envy in any way?
Anonymous asked: Oh wow. Lita and Some Girl have the exact same body (just add jeans for Lita). You could switch their heads and no one would notice the difference.
Lita and literally every other Jack woman have the exact same body.
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Anonymous asked: Does Jack even have an updating schedule? I feel like it is never updated on the days it is supposed to, with long, unexplained gaps between pages.
That is its update schedule.
Anonymous asked: If I remember right, Sloth is the fucking ground in Hell. That's it. That is his punishment. The freaky broccoli thing you first see in "Saving Arolest/Alorest/Iforgot" is (supposed to be) a tree that basically serves as the center of his being. He feels pain when things are stabbed into or when people walk over him. Lamest sin ever, imo.
Correct, this is Sloth’s role. For a Sin that’s doomed to never rest, Sloth sure seems asleep/going to sleep when they arrive to talk with it in “Saving Arloset.”
Anonymous asked: Why does it take Central four panels to slam a goddamn meat locker door? I mean, you could have had just shown two: her hand pressed against it first, with a few action lines and an additional "*WHAM*!"-like sound effect accompanying it; then, you can zoom out to reveal Central's contemptuous frown and Bob/Lisa's bewildered reactions to it being locked from the outside second. At the moment it looks quite like she's closing it in super-slooow motion.
Because he’s stalling.
This is the last page of his buffer, and we’ll bet money he did not plan the rest of the arc yet. He needed to pad it out for a full page in order to buy as much time as possible to think of a weak ending to tack on.
dannykat asked: Since I've heard so much about their antics, I would like to see the aggressive Jack fan in its natural habitat. So are there any particular forum threads you can point me to, where they make themselves look especially crazy?
Any thread, really. Try the thread for the most recent arc. “Megan’s Run” and “What’s Pissing of Dalton” both contain hefty amounts of misogyny and rape apologism as well.
Anonymous asked: Why did Central even need to shut the door? Bob said in "Hell is That Noise" that Lisa killed him, and in response he killed Lisa. Seemed they were well on their way to doing that even without being locked in a freezer.
Dave just has to add that extra touch of missing the point. They’re evil sinners who died in sin! But only because God wanted them to die in sin without repenting.
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