Then the economy turned sour. He became so lazy, he hired someone else to ink his even-worse-than-before artwork. His fans stopped lavishing him with money. He became bitter. He began to make self-pitying rants about how he was turning 30 (poor baby).
Eventually even his enablist fans began to gradually notice the dreck he wrote wasn't worth wiping their asses with. They began to critique him. He threw a dramatic hissyfit and hired other people to illustrate his awful rape fantasies. Many of them quit. Yet, he fapped on.
Then, we came along.
NONE OF THIS ARTWORK IS OURS. WE DID NOT EVEN MAKE THE EDITS. WE HAVE ONLY SAVED THEM. ALL ARTWORK IS FROM GOOD OL DAVID HOPKINS. http://www.pholph.com
Oh look, an FAQ.
Oh look, a list of riffs.
It’s a shame I’ve been away, since I recognized the movie they were playing on their weird crappy Heaven TV immediately—an incredibly obscure Spanish-language cartoon called Katy Caterpillar. Considering this movie is so old and rarely published that a copy costs ~$25 on Amazon, it’s either a pointed jab at Kate, some kind of tribute to Katie, or I don’t even know this surprised the ever-loving hell out of me. What are you trying to say Dave, do you even know
Anonymous asked: No, see you're missing the best part of this. Heaven's low-cost residential area is shaped like a giant dong. Only Hopkins.
Nuevo Phallus style buildings were huge in the afterlife for years.
Anonymous asked: So basically Dave's idea of a strong female character is to have mommy issues, love babby, and fuck and get fucked by anything that moves. I love how everyone knew this page was coming even though it is completely out of character for all of the characters involved.
We’ve nothing to add to this. Spot on in your snark and criticism.
Anonymous asked: At this point I'm waiting for the "it was all a nightmare" thing
This comic is a constant waking nightmare.
Anonymous asked: We're about twelve pages from "I'M KEEPING THIS, YOU BIIIIIIIITCHHH!" How exactly was she healed after that? Where are arty and vinci? What about kane(?)'s plot to take over hell or whatever? and Oh boy! Fanservice sleepover! Writing For Dummies says to relieve tension after a traumatic scene, they never said it had to make any kind of fucking sense. You can just kind of wedge it in there, right? Or did I miss something?
Vinci and Arty aren’t allowed to be in the story any more, it’s much hotter if Farrago randomly takes their place and morphs into a lesbian. Even though she is a complete stranger to Megan, and Megan has absolutely no reason to trust her.
Anonymous asked: The problem with only drawing the bare minimum of backgrounds is that your fantasy landscape falls on it's ass. That top panel might as well be "Caterpillar and Earwax Candle" by Dave Hopkins (c) 2013.
Not to mention it eventually leads to panels like this. After years of never drawing a background, he suddenly needs to. With no practice under his belt, it just winds up looking like someone chucked a bunch of lopsided boxes together on a field of mashed potatoes. There’s no sense of depth and none of the architecture matches the ridiculous comb and earwax designs we’ve just seen.
Anonymous asked: I just realized that, according to the plot, Vinci's cancer is caused by Arty being angry at a homophobic nurse that he had not met until after Vinci got cancer. Did Dave forget how to chronology?
Implying he ever knew how to chronology. Heh.
Anonymous asked: And here I was, complaining the bed/couch thing added nothing. And what a great image of Farrago staring off into the middle-distance, forlorn and rejected because a greviously I'll woman wouldn't sleep with her.
Farrago and Megan both transformed into lesbians quite rapidly, given that both of them have openly stated they’re not interested in intimate relationships with women.
Anonymous asked: The clownboat arc was written by Vinci according to the TTFN at the end of it. Not sure how much of the shitty plot can be blamed on Hopkins, if that's the case.
The riffers addressed this, but we will restate our feelings on it.
If you compare the writing, pacing and dialogue from any given arc of Vinci & Arty you will immediately notice an enormous difference in skill level. Vinci did not write this arc, she provided a vague concept. Hopkins did the actual writing.
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