Then the economy turned sour. He became so lazy, he hired someone else to ink his even-worse-than-before artwork. His fans stopped lavishing him with money. He became bitter. He began to make self-pitying rants about how he was turning 30 (poor baby).
Eventually even his enablist fans began to gradually notice the dreck he wrote wasn't worth wiping their asses with. They began to critique him. He threw a dramatic hissyfit and hired other people to illustrate his awful rape fantasies. Many of them quit. Yet, he fapped on.
Then, we came along.
NONE OF THIS ARTWORK IS OURS. WE DID NOT EVEN MAKE THE EDITS. WE HAVE ONLY SAVED THEM. ALL ARTWORK IS FROM GOOD OL DAVID HOPKINS. http://www.pholph.com
Oh look, an FAQ.
Oh look, a list of riffs.
Anonymous asked: Seriously, Brian's eyes. He's got "good guy" eyes, complete with shiny pupils and sclera made of melty ice cream. Why?
Because Dave can’t consistency for shit.
Anonymous asked: Are we seeing Farrago at two different points in time, alternating back and forth? Is that what's happening? Because good lord I have never been more confused by this comic's layout.
You are correct in your suspicion of what is going on. It’s an extremely poorly executed and utterly abrupt shift in formatting and is failing in every respect. Hopkins has no idea how to do this without fucking it up. Which is hysterical, because it really is not that hard. Shit, something as simple as a larger gutter between the panels would have helped avoid this confusion!
Anonymous asked: I thought angels were supposed to be the epitome of kindness, perseverance, and forgiveness and shit, but apparently it's choke them once and, boom, personality rewrite. At least for the females. For the men, punching means love unless you're gay.
Also angels totally want to have sex with mortals all the time.
Which makes so much sense when you look back at the only biblical story involving angelic sex in any way and see that an entire city burned for merely suggesting it.
Anonymous asked: Jesus Christ what the fuck is going on in the new strip? WHO does that?
Dave has attempted a sudden and jarring break from his normal formatting. He is now presenting both the current timeline and a past timeline in vertical format side by side.
The problem with this, though, is there is nothing indicating it should be read this way. There is also nothing between the two time lines to indicate to a new viewer that they are different. Staggering the panels slightly would have helped drive home the point that the eye is not meant to go left to right (as it normally does in comics) but rather up to down. Naturally, Dave didn’t bother to examine any similar comics using this format before attempting it so it falls flat on its face. Like everything else he does.
Varying the panel borders in addition to staggering the panels would have helped indicate a timeline difference (or at least a setting difference!) to viewers. For example, the “past” panels could be presented either with a different colour border or a “wiggly” border. The past could also have been shaded, or pencil sketched, or something else to visually drive home the point that it is different. Instead, it uses identical formatting and style and so the eye does not realize it’s being greeted with a sudden jump in time/location.
Smaller panels would have been another way to indicate the past conversation as a parallel to the present.
Because he lacked any research or forethought, he’s just managed to make this new formatting fail spectacularly. However the forum will no doubt crow about how this new formatting is great. If Dave is attempting to “parallel” the two conversations literally, he’s doing it with the subtlety of a drunken rhino in heat. But then, Hopkins’ subtlety always was akin to being hit in the head by a bag full of hammers.
Question with 1 note
Anonymous asked: Oh ass, he's back. Credit where credit's due--I legitimately liked the guest art, and I think the gap between competent art and incompetent writing helped open many forumite's eyes to just how inconsistent and frakked up the Jackiverse really is. Now we're back to gooey eyes and neck boobs.
Not to mention abuse apologia! Feel bad for Jack, it’s hard to be a man and beat a woman! :( It takes such an emotional toll on a man to physically abuse a woman he “loves.” But they’re really nice guys deep down inside and that abuse will surely never happen again so you should just forgive them and forget about it, right?
Anonymous asked: I would love to see an actual artist take some of Dave's drawings and do a skeletal structure for them.
Somewhere, someone has uttered the words “challenge accepted.”
Question with 1 note
Anonymous asked: One of the things that have not changed yet: Jack giving his seal of approval of Drip raping criminals and Dave passing it as something that audience should be cheering for. You see, rape stops being a despicable act and turns into Holy Redemption when it is done on underage shooters.
You got it, hoss. Just like killing someone in cold blood is totally not a sin, as long as you’re killing someone who hates America and Freedom and God!
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